I won't let you down
by Millijana
Summary: Ella P. Shepard is a Soldier through and through. She would not let any feeling copmlicate or risk her job . James Vega is a Soldier. He would no let feelings cloud his vision once again. Until they met each other.


She could hear the hissing of the door and looked up from the data pad. "James," she greeted her visitor.  
There were only a few people who were allowed to see her and Lieutenant James Vega was one of them. And even less of her visitors did her the favor to visit her even if she not had to be accompanied somewhere, or nothing had to be brought to her.  
In fact, with very few exceptions nobody trusted her enough to speak with her more than necessary. They gave her matter of facts, they answered her questions, but none of them asked the big 'Why'. Everyone was waiting for the decision of her guilt or innocence, so that they themselves had not to worry about it more than necessary.  
Lt. James Vega was not one of them. He had the balls to ask why she had blown up a mass relay and had sacrificed more than 300,000 Batarians. And he had even given thought about the answer.  
When you saw the guy for the first, you were quick to brand him as a typical Marine, who had not much more to offer than his enormous muscles. He did not show it often, but he was an intelligent man.

That evening, when her command had been withdrawn from her for an indefinite period and she was no longer an official member of the Alliance, he had been the first to choose one side, if there was something like sides on this matter: "They won't be able to keep you from active service for long. By the time Reapers knocking on the door, they'll ask for your help."

He stood at the door and was about to leave. He had said nothing when she had been silent on the way back from the conference hall. He had just looked briefly at her as she had gotten up from her chair and taken her place at his side, to accompany her back to her room.

The moment before he left the apartment, he looked at her for the first time again directly. "These bureaucrats are well aware that they are dependent on you, and that's the reason why you are still here and have not been dishonorably discharged and rot in a real cell. The Alliance needs you." He sighed. "Doesn't help much right now, but I'm pretty sure that this bunch of men in blues here try to prove the galaxy they have Commander Shepard under control." He paused. "They don't, but they have to make the rest believe it."  
She had just been able to address a tired "Thank you, Lieutenant Vega, I appreciate it" at him and then lay on her bed. Her bed... no, the bed. Her bed was in the ship, which was just undergoing a major overhaul to make it fit back in the Alliance fleet. Sometimes she wondered if she herself was still belonging here, if she would ever fit back in. Or if too much had happened, she had changed too much. Anderson was optimistic and Hackett had never ruled out that there would be a solution. And yet she doubted.  
"James," he had corrected her before he left. An offer she hadn't make use of since then.

"Commander," James came in and nodded to her. In his hand he held a small stack of data pads.  
Shepard had asked him a few days ago, if it was possible that she would receive information about a few things. You would like a little more informed than were to her by the common news. James had said he would see what he can do, and now he came with data pads that were obviously not simple books.  
"That's all I was able to grab for the moment."  
She had to smile. "Thank you, I would not even have expected that they let you back. After all, you carried on a request from me, and that can obviously just mean for them that I have you wrapped around my finger."  
He shrugged and grinned. "Actually, they were relatively helpful and immediately said that they'd see what they can do." He tossed the pads onto the sofa on which she sat grinning, not looking up from the pads. "And they seem not to have gotten to the thing with the finger. Or it does not seem to bother them."  
Shepard moved her gaze with a frown from the data pads to him. Was it he serious? It was his job to watch her, not to flirt with her.  
He seemed to have seen her gaze, for he laughed. "Ever the professional, huh?"  
She sighed before she averted her gaze. "It seems, even if I basically am not a professional anymore."  
"That's bullshit, and you should know that, Shepard. You ..." He trailed off as he realized that he had just slipped the 'Commander' he usually used to address her.  
Shepard had to smile and looked at him again. "If I were still the professional you think me to be, I would have it your way. Instead, I take the opportunity to leave out you rank in the future, too."  
James shook his head and lifted a corner of his mouth. "Fine, take at it as you will. The fact remains that you are who you are."  
"Yah, it does not change, but that is the problem if we are to believe the blues."  
He snorted contemptuously. "Sure, because they have managed to keep you here after you have delivered yourself. These are pendejos who do not listen to the only person who could help them to sort all this shit out. Instead, they pat each other on the back that they keep you small and let you think the way you are thinking right now."  
"You can tell them at the next opportunity that you've seen through it all. They will surely be impressed." She took the first data pad in her hand and pretended she did not notice him further.

When he closed the door behind him, she dropped the data pad and sighed. God, now she had probably chased away the only guy who had at least tried to be a friend.  
And it was not even that he was wrong. She knew exactly what was happening and it made her incredibly angry that she still could not do anything. It made her furious that it was necessary that one of her guards had to remember her. At some point she had just stopped thinking about it and resigned to her fate. Four months in which she was stuck in this fucking room and could do nothing except read in the few reports that were available to her through common channels. She had the feeling to have read every damn book and watched every damn TV-show of the last 30 years. For God's sake, it was making you wanna puke. And worse was that she had almost given up. She had almost forgotten that she was Commander Shepard. Not just Ella Shepard.  
But she had given too much, to ever could be again Ella Shepard, the private person, the civilian. Her job had always been in the first place, and suddenly there was nothing. They had taken everything from her, even with what she had identified herself most.  
"Shit, dammit ...!" She murmured, and threw the data pad back to the stack. Rather than give her self-pity, which scraped hard on her, she moved quickly to her workout clothes and stepped onto the treadmill.

During the first week she had used every spare minute to keep herself fit. But she had dropped back to the minimum after that. And the minimum meant an hour of exercises she had carried out for years on every damn day, when she had not been avoiding gunshots, or got hit by them sometimes. That was the only way to let off steam, which was left to her.  
The treadmill in front of the window was not necessarily the same as a real run through a space station or even real air outside on the ground, but it gave her after some time the same liberating feeling  
But basically, she could be thankful that the Alliance gave her some exercise equipment at her disposal.  
Her Biotics she held with small exercises at bay. She could not remember the last time when her skills hat not been used over a period for more than a day or two - where she was conscious - to make fire under someone's ass.  
But would she do it again when the blues, as James had called them so fondly, would need her again. Then they would call after her.  
Her defiance told her that she should show them her middle finger and should let these bums see how they should deal with their shit. Only ... it was not "their" shit.  
This was addressing everyone. And that was more important than her fucking ego trip - even if some people would have earned it.  
No, not just her ass... every fucking ass in this shitty galaxy. How ridiculous it sounded, because there would be casualties; lots of them. Especially those who could not defend themselves anyway: Residents of colonies or homeplanets. They would die first. Most of the soldiers were on space stations or on starships when they were not exactly on vacation or shore leave.  
She would ... now for now she should see that she came out here again, otherwise she would be among the first victims.

She was secretly grateful to the Lieutenant that he had become clear. They did not talk about it again, but she could not hide the change, which he had triggered in her. She knew she would get her chance. The wait made her still mad, but patience has never been one of her strengths.

It was a Saturday afternoon when James entered her cell. Okay, cell was a somewhat exaggerated term, considering the features, but ultimately it was nothing more than a luxury prison.  
She was sitting on the couch after a shower and looked at a few of the reports that James had brought her a few days earlier.  
"Get up, Commander."  
She turned her head when the strong guy entered the room the room and stopped right after passing the door frame. He almost grinned. Shepard raised her eyebrows a little to send the silent question, why she should follow his 'command'.  
"We make a trip," he answered without delay.  
"Ah," she put the report aside and knelt on the couch and leaned her forearms on the backrest, so that she was facing him now. "And where, should I be allowed to go?"  
"Would not be a surprise if I tell you already, right?"  
"Only if it should be a surprise."  
He shrugged. "Was not my idea, but I am the one who is allowed to accompany you."  
She sighed. "Fine, will be a nice variety seeing something different than this room."  
"I thought it has another bedroom," grinned Vega.  
"Yes, but usually I have my eyes closed there, so not much to see." She grinned a little and swung himself over the back of the sofa and followed James out.  
She said nothing as another of her guards, Alan, if she remembered correctly, also followed them. He stayed behind them while James was walking relaxed beside her.  
Ella wondered if James was aware that the two Marines could easily be put out of action by her and she would be able to escape if she wanted to.  
He probably knew that, but also that she would not do that. She frowned surprised, as he pressed the elevator button for the ground floor. She noticed how her heart began to beat faster and her biotic abilities come to life. The slight buzzing in her neck that spread on her skin. She did not want to crow too soon, but hope grew up slightly.

In this building the ground floor did not lead to an exit. To actually leave the building they would first have to enter the other tower. In this part of the building there were only training grounds at the bottom. Some were in smaller buildings or on the outside, depending on its origin.

She did not dare to believe that there was a possibility to let her do some training, but on the other hand, why would James lead her here, if not. She tried to keep herself calm and her anticipation at bay.

Only when he really entered the code for the door to the Biotic Training Ground, she let the anticipation draw a smile on her lips.  
"Who did you bribe to get me here?"  
"As I said, was not even my idea. Not really the least."  
"Not really, huh?"  
He just shrugged again. "Maybe I have dropped in the right places that you are somewhat underutilized."  
She whistled approvingly. "Not bad lieutenant. And I bet Anderson was pretty fast converted to your side."  
He did not answer her question but pointed into the room: "The deal is: Every three days, one hour."  
"Every three days?" She could not quite believe what she had just heard. "On a regular basis? Sounds almost like a reward."

"Good conduct, I would say. Just an idea."  
She laughed softly and then took a few steps forward. She hesitated a moment before she finally felt how the implants came to life after such a long time. With all the little exercises, she had not dared to put too much energy into the nodes of her implants, but here? Here she let them all shine brightly and enjoyed the feeling as she was surrounded by the bright blue aura. How it straightened all the little hairs on her body and let her finally feel a little more like herself.

James watched as Shepard was standing in the room and the blue flicker of her Biotics were wandering on her bronze skin. Biotics were something that he had always showed respect to. If one has a haunch of what he's doing, he could run with ease in seconds a massacre. He had seen some hard stunts and even heard more of what she could do. If he believed the stories, she was found usually in the deepest melee combat, where she played bowling with the opponents and then shooting anyone who was still twitching with well-aimed shots; just with her side arm. They told her to be cold and calculating with her opponents. But to be always standing before her team. Her stunt on Elysium was already a legend.  
He leaned against the wall behind him and crossed his arms over his chest. He would just enjoy the show.

Shepard had stood silent for a few moments, now she flared even more and then suddenly catapulted herself like a bolt to the other end of the room with a charge and then she released a shockwave that blinded him up to this point and smashed the crates that stood there against the walls.  
She paused for a moment, eyes closed and a leisurely smile on her lips. He had to admit, he had looked forward to a show, but this also had some merit. She opened her dark eyes again and they flashed before she returned to his side of the room and pulled out of her twist one of the boxes in her direction before seconds later she hurled it with a Nova back to the wall.

He grinned as she continued charging through the room and to execute various maneuvers with her skills. She laughed when she managed to have a chest pass her only by millimeters and then push it with another Nova on the wall behind her, processing it to scraps.  
James was not quite sure if they wouldn't get in any trouble when she simply destroyed the training ground. 'Nah,' he thought, 'they'd have to expect that after four months.'  
He shook his head. She was more than a hurricane she was a fucking force of nature. And he began to believe in the stories he'd heard. He was impressed with how controlled her movements became after she had blown of some steam. Every movement was precisely calculated and the smile did not disappear again from her lips. She enjoyed it and did not even try to hide it.  
He even caught himself, as he began to grin and wondered how she had to be on the battlefield, a gun in her hand.  
He also wondered something else, what he would not admit, however, not even in thought. But he knew it would haunt him later, even if he would dismiss it for now.

Ella came to a standstill when the siren sounded, which informed her that her time was up. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She was doing a lot better than an hour ago. And she could not wait to come back.  
As she turned to Vega, she still could not hide her smile.  
"There has been built-up a bit?"  
"Slightly."  
He shook his head and grinned. "Was not to be unnoticed."  
She grinned a little more and walked towards the exit. "I can't expect them to let me on the shooting range?"  
He snorted in amusement and shook his head as she gave him a look over her shoulder. "Not even Anderson could manage that."  
She laughed relaxed as they left the practice room, and she was taken back to her room.


End file.
